Well this week got interesting.
I was so thrilled to make it to 12 weeks on Monday! ❤️🙌🙌 I started revelling in it. Especially because I am feeling flutters of the baby, I feel like he is real (he IS) and like it all just might be okay.
And the. Tuesday afternoon, I started cramping. I have had an achy pregnancy since the start but these were definitely cramps. It was my planning period so I put my feet up and hoped for the best. And then I started bleeding. I know we right away it was blood.
I ran to the bathroom in a total fog.
When I sat down it was the all-too familiar and dreaded whoosh of sudden blood and pain. I uncontrollably cried out in agony and sadness. How was this happening again? I will spare the gory details but to be clear, there was more blood in that moment than any of my other losses.
Shaking, I walked next door to the nurse. Praise God He put me somewhere with someone willing to drop everything and help a staff member. She got me to sit down and slow my breathing down. I was definitely almost hyperventilating, because I was seeing stars.
I valledy doctor. Their phone lines had an error message from Verizon. I called the perinatal specialists. They called the backline at my OB. I was told to go right to the ER due to the volume of blood loss.
Tom had to get Tommy I'm am hour so I knew to call my mom. Another blessing. She was ready and able to drop everything, meet me at my house and drive me.
Now... Frederick Memorial Hospital. I had a great experience delivering Liam in the L&D unit. But the ER leaves much room for improvement. I say in the waiting room for about two hours. I saw people very miserably sick curled into chairs, a woman with a head fall, dripping blood onto her nightgown. It's flu season so I was terrified for my mom. We were very careful not to touch anything!
Finally we got a bed. I was having true contractions at this point that came in waves. My abdomen would tighten up and breathing was hard. The bleeding had all but stopped luckily. It took awhile but I saw a PA-- a young guy, maybe 24? As young as a PA can be. He was a total bro. "Alright what do we have here?" He was nice and seemed to genuinely care. But he also seemed like a total frat boy. With all due respect to him. I was just really surprised that I didn't see a single doctor. I will not intentionally return to that ER for that reason.
Now, the real details: the baby turned out to be okay. He was moving around so much in the ultrasound that she couldn't capture a heartbeat at first! God really laid this all out nicely for me, because the ultrasound tech had had four losses herself, so she kind and compassionate (can't say I've always had tht experience at Gettysburg). She even printed a picture for me, because she understood.
I saw it myself on the ultrasound. A big pocket of fluid, probably blood. I have seen so much thanks to my SG sisters and all we went through together years ago.
A subchorionic hematoma. When the PA returned I was right. He reassured me I might bleed some more and then, in total bro fashion, told me I had "no restrictions" in his eyes. He told me to carry pads and tampons so I was ready for another bleed (can't use tampons in pregnancy, dude!).
When the nurse handed me the hospital printout, it said very clearly "pelvic rest". So yeah. Gotta take it easy for a few weeks! Love this little fighter of a baby sooooo very much!
My Bible Verse that sustained me through this:
10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
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