This is Happiness

It's Christmas!! I am so in love with my boys and iur life together. It gets overwhelming at times. And I get frustrated. But I also have so much joy in our times together.

Last night, we had our fourth annual Book Flood! Sam just laid there. Liam drew in his comic book. And I had thirty minutes to read my favorite book, The Bronze Horseman. All the while, we are lots of cookies and chocolate.

This morning, Liam wanted to hold Sam. "Go make your coffee, Mom. I've got this"

After I went to the basement to put some boxes away, I came back to this, courtesy of a very amused big brother:

And then I had to shower. I left Sam in his bouncer with Liam and hoped for the best (Sam would be safe obviously, just hopefully not fussy! Sam was sleepy). When I came down, Liam was sitting with him, shushing him gently and reading to him from the Santa tracker.

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My meds, my experience and my faith 💗

I'm not the most eloquent writer but I want to record my experiences and the meds I am taking. Meds and supplements to prevent a first time loss *Vitamin D due to my deficiency and like between low D and miscarriage * NO caffeine due to limited studies that show some people with caffeine sensitivity are prone to unexplained loss *Magnesium, by drinking Natural Calm, every morning - recommended by Dr. Sheri Hamersley *Progesterone 200 mg orally. I doubled up until 8 1/2 weeks to 400mg. *Lovenox 40 mg every night due to recommendation from Dr Hamersley *Vitafol OB prenatal with iron added *** Vitamin B6 and Unisom. I started this at around 8 weeks because of nausea. Meds I changed and added because of sub-chorionic hemorrhage *After every major bleed I take extra progesterone in the morning. * I had stopped the B6 at 13 weeks when my nausea subsided. I resumed it at 19 weeks to get to help my SCH heal *I take additional magnesium to calm my ...

Sam’s indominus rex

"sometimes he's sad, sometimes he's happy"

Never enough

I honestly wish people knew how hard it is for single parents to do basically anything. Getting out of the house, getting everyone to bed, getting free time to my own... all require a lot of coordination and there is NO backup. There is no one to fill in when I'm sick or to step up when I just need 5 minutes or to tell me I'm doing a good job when everyone's asleep and the house is so quiet. I feel like a failure in so many parts of my life; that I'm just not following up enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not appreciative enough. It's just never enough. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Reflective Sarah

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