Keto Thoughts

 My relationship with my weight and food hasn't always been functional. I don't necessarily think it is unhealthy. I am not really an emotional eater and I've not had the massive problems of zigzagging weight or being super overweight. But I've always kind of hovered around ten to fifteen pounds above an ideal weight. And just whenever I start to lose weight I somehow and for some reason self-sabotage and go back up. 

For the past few months I definitely HAVE been unhealthy. I've been binge eating more than ever before. I have had intense sugar cravings, and even though I would tell myself "today is the day I will start a healthy diet" then I'd (thoughtlessly) eat a cookie or something. Rock bottom for me was two weeks ago-- when I picked up the frozen cookie dough I'd bought from the MAMS fundraiser afterschool. I didn't even make it two blocks on my drive home before I had that tub of dough in my lap, scooping out cookie dough while driving one handedly. Reckless and ridiculous! 

So I am doing keto again. I've had success with it in the past. And this time, I see to be sticking to it more readily. So I want to log what works for the next time I want to slim down but can't commit 

Things I have recently changed I realized I likely had a Candida overgrowth so I started taking Florastor probiotics regularly. I also got Activia yogurt to try to cut back on that yeast that was likely fueling my sugar cravings. I also STOPPED snacking on Sam's bread at dinnertime (he has toast each night). I think the daily dose of gluten was really bad for me... 

Macros: My macros are at 127g Protein, 70g Fat, 40 g Carbs, and like 1700 calories. I know some guides say to stay at 20g Carbs, but I find that hard and really restrictive.  

What I am eating: 

• Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast
• Lunch: (at 10:44, because of my schedule) a frozen meal from Atkins or Healthy Choices with high protein and low carbs, with a small cup of cottage cheese and sugar free chocolate pudding (or an Activia yogurt cup , but that has a lot of sugar) 
• Snack: Sargento Healthy Snacks with White Cheddar, Almonds & Cranberries (this has like 10 g of carbs, but the sweetness in the cranberries staves off that sugar craving) OR an Oikos High Protein yogurt OR a protein shake (I guess technically I could also do a protein bar here) 
• NO MORE AFTERNOON SNACKING --I would always eat with Sam at 3:30 when I got home, and I think that was a huge problem. If I DO want a snack, I'm snacking on popcorn which is only 15g carbs for 3 cups. But I measure a cup of it and snack from that 
• Dinner Chicken and veggies, or salmon, or I found these beef and veggie patties by Applegate that are DELICIOUS, 4 g carbs, and have veggies built in! 

Eating well isn't hard for me. It's the not-snacking, not mindlessly picking up something like a piece of Sam or Liam's food and putting it in my mouth... that's hard. 

My starting weight was like, 154 two weeks ago. I am down to 147.9 today. I want to get to 143 ("I love you") and see how I feel. 140 should be my ideal weight. 148 should be my ceiling weight, at which I go back to something fairly restrictive for 30 days to cut back and hover. 

My goal is a two piece bathing suit next summer, confidently! And to be healthy for my boys. And to choose myself!