Reflective Sarah

Dear Sam, Today you insisted on keeping "Jammies on". It was cold out, so I put your hat on. You baa'ed like a sheep all morning.  Today at the "guhgound" (playground) you rode a car around, intermittently saying  "beep, beep" and "baa". You fill my heart with joy, sweet one.  Love, Mama

I honestly wish people knew how hard it is for single parents to do basically anything. Getting out of the house, getting everyone to bed, getting free time to my own... all require a lot of coordination and there is NO backup. There is no one to fill in when I'm sick or to step up when I just need 5 minutes or to tell me I'm doing a good job when everyone's asleep and the house is so quiet.  I feel like a failure in so many parts of my life; that I'm just not following up enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not appreciative enough. It's just never enough. 🤷🏼‍♀️

The summer that I was 13, I got to teach Bible School. I was SO excited. I felt so privileged.  I just found my lesson plans 💗

Sam has had hand foot and mouth for awhile. I guess he had a fever on Monday the 18th. But then no other symptoms. But by Wednesday he was drooling like crazy and miserable. Thursday night he woke up every 45 minutes! He slept poorly for another 5 or 6 nights. Even now, two weeks later, his sleep patterns are disrupted. He was always such a good little sleeper. I'd put him down at 7 and then not a peep til 530, unless he was sick or teething.  Now I put him down but he doesn't settle. I have to go back up. He usually still needs tylenol to sleep. And he still wakes up a couple times through the night. Poor baby boy.  I caught hand foot and mouth from him. So for me it popped up a week after him. First I had the fever, then two days later the mouth sores. They were under my tongue and they hurt so bad I could hardly talk. Then my throat. That was awful. I am so glad to be past that.  Right now it is 3:30. I've been up since 2:20. First it was Liam who couldn't sleep. Gav...