Reflective Sarah

18 days apart from him-- the longest ever. 18 days and now he's back in my arms. And I'm watching him with the same curious joy I had on the very first night he was born.  Is this little bundle truly mine? I touch his ears, and smell his hair, and my heart swells in gratitude that he's here. How am I so fortunate to be his mother, to be loved by him?  I don't know how I survived these last 18 days without him. It was awful. I missed him! I was sad. But now he's back and he's all mine, and I'm never letting go. Okay maybe in a few years. But not for a long time! 

Weight gained: 4 lbs Cravings: pasta and wet food  Symptoms: sore and crampy, tired allll the time, nauseous in the evenings and I started crying this week. Every day! 

I can feel him moving in my belly!! I never in my life imagined I'd get so lucky to again feel this.  I put up so many walls in my life to this happiness and this hope.  Thank you God for this miracle... 

Well this week got interesting.  I was so thrilled to make it to 12 weeks on Monday! ❤️🙌🙌 I started revelling in it. Especially because I am feeling flutters of the baby, I feel like he is real (he IS) and like it all just might be okay.  And the. Tuesday afternoon, I started cramping. I have had an achy pregnancy since the start but these were definitely cramps. It was my planning period so I put my feet up and hoped for the best. And then I started bleeding. I know we right away it was blood.  I ran to the bathroom in a total fog.  When I sat down it was the all-too familiar and dreaded whoosh of sudden blood and pain. I uncontrollably cried out in agony and sadness. How was this happening again? I will spare the gory details but to be clear, there was more blood in that moment than any of my other losses.  Shaking, I walked next door to the nurse. Praise God He put me somewhere with someone willing to drop everything and help a staff member. She got me to s...

I am 11 weeks pregnant! So close to the second trimester. I swear I can feel movement in there.  I have been really nauseous this past week. More than ever before. I caved and got Vitamin B6 and started taking Unisom at night. I do feel much better!  Symptom wise I am twingy in the belly. Lots of twinges, pokes and sometimes dull soreness. No cravings except for peanut butter and jelly! I hate meat. And don't like the smell of food.  Kissing Tom makes my nausea go away 💞

Tom got me ginger snaps because I've been so nauseous. I had run out of ginger snaps but lucky for me, he thought of me at the store and dropped some off. I'm so lucky!  Love him 🥰💞❤️

I am 10 weeks pregnant and I'm absolutely in love with this whole process! It's hard to believe it's happening. Everyday feels like a gift...  My belly has started to pop 🥰😬🎉  Thank you God for this amazing blessing...